The Girls Were in Need

The girls were in need of a new holster
if you catch my subtle drift.
Well, the wonders that awaited me –
things like age defying lift and
an advanced support system,
no doubt NASA planned.
It all seemed a bit much;
man, this search was quickly
getting out of hand.

Yet it had only been ongoing
for just a week, or was it two?
Damn, this quest seemed so
relentless; too many clasps
I've already been through.
There's natural look, under wire
push up, flex and stretch,
extra lacy, downright naughty,
or just plain functional,
(less fun than all the rest).

For all the tugging
and the trying, nothing
seemed to perfectly fit.
These puppies are feeling
homeless, looking for a
comfy perch on which to sit.

I've been specially
fit and measured,
invested in armature
that cost a small treasure.
I've treated these lacy delights
with the utmost gentle care,
hand washed and line dried
nurtured 'cause you know they're
not simple machine wash and wear.

Ladies, once you find that
perfect brassiere, you know
the rest in your size will disappear,
and the search will be on again
in no time at all.
The sad truth is this:
It's easier to score plutonium
than to simply find a good bra
at the mall.